Friday, September 18, 2015


I bought some popcorn today. It'll get here in two months...

I was rushing out the back door to shoo the deer and her two fawns from my garden when the front doorbell rang. I had to put down my big can of Deer-B-Gone (which doesn't work anyway), and it rang again.

On my doorstep was a little blonde eight-year-old Brownie, a blond nine-year-old Cub Scout, and a brunette 12-year-old Girl Scout. They were selling popcorn to raise money for something. I hesitated...

And then the Cubbie said, "Yeah, we wanna beat Dirk."

"Who's Dirk?" I asked, foolishly.

"He sells more popcorn every year than anyone else, and we wanna beat him," the Cubbie said.

I'm a sucker for underdogs. So I bought a $15 tin of jalapeno and cheddar cheese popcorn.

I'm sure it will be delicious.

As I came downstairs with my $15, I saw a stocky, tall blond kid walking off my grass. "That's Dirk," the Brownie said, her voice low and angry.

I squinted my eyes at him. Not this year, Dirk.... oh no, I bought some jalapeno cheddar popcorn. Not this year, Dirk....

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