Sunday, July 6, 2014



When I was little, I so wanted the G.I. Joe Turbo Swamp Craft. It was cool: It came with a battery-operated airboat, two outfits, a lariat on a stick, a tent, a dog, a gun, and a hammerhead stingray!

Sure, I know what you're thinking: "But Timmy, the Sea Wolf Submarine came with a squid, and the sub actually worked!"

Yeah, except that the sub was not air-tight. It flooded with water. And your G.I. Joe's life-like hair and beard was only glued on, and came off if you got your Joe wet. So unless you wanted a bald, non-alpha-male, chemotherapy-style Joe, you stayed away from the Sea Wolf Submarine and opted for the Turbo Swamp Craft.

My brother, who was a year younger than me, got the Trouble Shooter. It was a bright red tracked ATV with a computer on the back. An arm flipped down, and you could spread out some solar panels. It had a rotating antenna dish on top (you had to move it by hand), and a couple different radio antennae. A little side compartment was for batteries. On the back of the computer were six push-buttons. Each made a different radio signal, like: "Trouble in the arctic! Hurry, Joe!" and "Storm on the way! Batten everything down!" and "We've located the treasure!" Each time you pressed a button, the little viewscreen would rotate, too, and show you a scene appropriate to the message.

The Trouble Shooter also came with a black vulture.

I never got a vehicle. I got a camping set for G.I. Joe instead. My brother refused to let me play with his Trouble Shooter, and later blew it up with some M-80s.










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