Sunday, June 1, 2014

THE BEST THING about the 2012 film John Carter is Taylor Kitsch's pectorals. Kitsch, a former supermodel with no acting training, got the role based on his good looks, his long hair, and his superb body.

For most of the film, Kitsch wears a lifts-and-separates leather harness much like a BDSM afficionado. His pectorals and nipples are visible in almost every scene, so much so that often the camera focuses on them rather than his eyes or face. It's as if director Andrew Stantion (Toy Story, Finding Nemo, WALL-E) and cinematographer Dan Mindel (Star Trek, Mission: Impossible III) were intent on making soft-core porn.

Not that I mind seeing Taylor Kitsch's pectorals being the focus of a motion picture. They are quite fine pectorals, and delicious.

But this is a movie about John Carter, Warlord of Mars. Not My Left Breast.

This was costume designer Mayes Rubeo's first feature film and she has much to answer for.

Since one man's filth is another man's bible, I will admit that some of the art direction in "John Carter" was decent. Not inspired. But decent.

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